Bridesmaids. Yes, such a fun subject, but much more interesting when you do everything possible to get all four women in a room together. IT IS NOT EASY. And neither is choosing your Maid of Honor (MOH) and getting everyone to get along. So let’s begin.
I always knew who would be in my bridal party, and I had a pretty solid choice for my MOH. However, my MOH decision was swayed by attitude, consistency, love, and dependability. Thus, I selected an alternate MOH, who then decided about 10 months before the wedding that she couldn’t commit for whatever reason. But my decision for my MOH replacement should have been my first – time doesn’t mean anything. My MOH, Noemi, and I met on Hey!Vina back in 2016 and we’ve been inseparable ever since. Like, I’m talking Zumba on Saturdays, brunch on Sundays, she even helped me pick out my dress, has a great relationship with my family and my husband (then-fiancé), she’s amazing.
But none of that matters, so here are a few things to watch for with your bridal party.
NO ONE COMMUNICATES.
If you’re going to have a bridal party, you need communication. It’s so important to have a group chat because not everyone may know each other (my BMs didn’t know my MOH). Also, what I found helpful, is to have monthly meet-ups. This helped my MOH and I keep track of bridal party tasks, money problems amongst the girls, and so much more. On the flip side, it helped Noemi create a relationship with the girls, in an effort to plan pre-wedding events. Communication is key.
Choosing a dress or attire is something that is often the most difficult task. In my case, we had the perfect dress picked out for the bridal party. The only thing was the cost. Fortunately, Lulu’s became a great resource and had a dress for the bridesmaids; my MOH chose our original pick in gold. Plus, who doesn’t love a little glamour?
When it came to shoes, Lulu’s also came to the rescue. The only thing I didn’t like about Lulu’s was that their stock wasn’t as plentiful as I thought it would be. So not only were the girls scattered when it came to purchasing their attire on time, not all sizes were available. Nevertheless, by some miracle, the last bridesmaid was able to get her dress on time. Oh, and the dress is convertible so it was perfect for their various body types!
Moral of the story – make sure your bridal party has a minimum of $200 to the side for attire. Trust me!
Not everyone is a makeup artist, hairstylist, or even understands the level of formality. My number one (#1!) rule – NO PONYTAILS. My MOH and bridesmaids had a very detailed conversation about this. However, some how, on my wedding day, someone did end up with a side ponytail (not slicked down). At that point, I wasn’t the one who noticed – the other BMs did. I didn’t noticed really, until I saw photos. But we’ll get to that chaos of a morning later.
My bridal shower was an event where I was kept in the dark. I didn’t even know the date and wasn’t able to request off work until my-then-fiancé, had to tell me so I could request off. Though it wasn’t ideal and we were all extremely late, we had fun and enjoyed the day in the garden scene. The struggle of the day? Finding a white dress. Let’s just say I went through three or four Fashion Nova dresses and only one worked out.
Also, please make sure at least one person in your bridal party is aware of any allergies. We won’t talk about that, but good times!
Now Noemi (remember my MOH?), and the girls killed my Golden Birthday/Bachelorette. Have you ever tried to buy a gold dress? That’s harder than finding a white dress. I ordered mine a week before my party and it was perfect (if anyone wants to buy it from me, you totally can).
Anyways, one of my bridesmaids made arrangements at Sugar Factory like I wanted, and it was AMAZING! A tad over-priced but we had a great time. We ate, drank, and indulged in the most amazing cake from Conti’s Pastry Shoppe (like, mouthwatering almond cake with amaretto and apricot filling….I DON’T EVEN LIKE APRICOT lol).
That whole night is a blur – for good reasons. But there are still snaps and videos that documented the night. After dinner, we went to Le Soux, which is a Moroccan (actually multi-cultural from what I recall) lounge downtown (NYC). We had, well, I had, the most amazing time with the girls. The vibe was strong, music was just right, no crazy lights – just very relaxing and energetic at the same time. That part of the night was planned by one of my BMs, and it was absolutely amazing. 4 bottles of champagne, a few shots of God-only-knows, and 2 hookahs later, we found ourselves in an Uber back home. Pretty sure someone fell on the couch, pretty sure it was me, but I’m also pretty sure it was someone else.
Point – make sure someone in your clique knows what you like or how to get you out of your shell and have fun!
I played absolutely no games. I reserved a hotel room for the night before because I needed everyone to be on time (we were still late, I’ll tell you why later). The rehearsal ran late because my parents were late from the airport, but once they got there, everything fell into place. Maybe bot between select people and my bridal party and family, but we did what we could. We eventually made it out and to the rehearsal dinner venue. My bridal party was extremely unhappy with the choice beaus they knew I was furious with it. Nevertheless, they stood by my side through it all…Even when I thought someone was going to jump across the table, they remained calm. My girls are NOT a force to be reckoned with. In our world, respect is earned. So after that spat of a night, we met up the next day for our bridal sleep-over.
The morning of the wedding was insane. I tried waking the girls up around 6am, but that definitely didn’t happen. My hair was 75% done when my MUA (both my hair stylist and MUA were amazing) arrived, which is when the girls started to roll out of bed.
Note – Ask the front desk for a wakeup call. TRUST ME! They will answer the phone before they wake up to you.
The girls were still getting ready when our car was set to arrive. We planned on being out the door by 9:30am so we could take photos prior to the ceremony…didn’t happen.
My photographer, Daniel of DreampicturesNY, was super flexible, worked with everyone, going out of his way for each moment. He even found time to get down to the venue to take my husband’s photos. My bridesmaids were helpful during this process, but still getting ready during the photos. So yes, time management is key.
Note – Make sure EVERYONE is aware of time. Some BMs may be talented and get their hair and makeup done rather quickly. Others may need the help of a fellow BM. Also, make sure everyone knows exactly what hair and makeup they’re doing.
When we finally got to the venue, my bridesmaids knew I was upset because we were late and the reason why we were late….my wedding band went missing. Let’s just say we all needed a few shots after they flipped the hotel room apart (we eventually found it that night when we went back to my parents room to get our stuff). They did what they needed to do to make things right for the moment and get me down the aisle. And for that, I’m forever grateful.
The whole day with my girls was amazing. They were finally able to come together and put on an amazing show on the dance floor, made sure my parents and grandmother were doing good, worked with my Coordinator and the VIP Country Club’s (ask for Michael and Alyssa!) staff, etc. Just amazing. It took almost a year for everyone to be on the same page, eight months to get along, but only one night to make sure my husband and I remembered everything about our special day.